All by Myself

So I had been working on a rather convoluted post about Jose Bautista's awesomeness and how Corey Patterson is my personal Britney Spears (don't ask) but then Blogger stopped working for a couple of days and upon stopping for a moment to reconsider the nonsensical drivel I had written I decided it simply wasn't worth my time. The gist of the post can be summed up as follows:
Corey Patterson Splits:

By Batting Order	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	BB	HBP	SO	SB	CS	AVG	OBP	SLG	OPS
Batting #1	4	0	1	1	0	0	0	0	0	1	0	0	.250	.250	.500	.750
Batting #2	94	11	24	7	1	2	16	3	0	22	4	3	.255	.278	.415	.693

Jose Bautista Splits:

By Situation	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	BB	HBP	SO	SB	CS	AVG	OBP	SLG	OPS
None On	60	8	20	3	1	8	8	14	0	9	0	0	.333	.459	.817	1.276
Runners On	40	21	15	3	0	3	12	19	1	10	4	0	.375	.583	.675	1.258

Jose Bautista has 11 HRs and 20 RBIs. Put another way, he has driven himself in a total of 11 times, and the other 8 players in the lineup on any given day a total of 9 times. That's an HR/RBI ratio of 1.82, or slightly less production per homer than Barry Bonds' 2001 season (73 HR & 137 RBI, a ratio of 1.88). And as much as these ever-more-frequent Bondsian comparisons make my skin quiver, does this not make a compelling case that Corey Patterson's .293 career OBP should be buried somewhere far, far behind Bautista? (Even if, sadly, based on 2011 numbers alone, there are no obviously superior candidates.)